Sometimes it seems to be the hardest thing in the world. Let me tell you something about me that I’m sure you can all relate to: even today, with the happy life I’ve designed for myself, I fall into phases of failure, melancholy, dejection. Phases when I “technically” know what it takes to attract that woman, get that job, take that challenge, but I just can’t pull it off. Look, it’s human. We need those phases to remind us that we’re vulnerable, and how to keep going. Let me share how I get back on top (or sometimes she’s on top, depends on the mood)!
I’ll give you a couple of seemingly unconnected pointers here, but bear with me, I’ll tie them up in the end.
More often than not, dry spells come when something within us gets out of balance. We feel down, drained, jaded, sad. It spirals from there: your doldrums show when you interact with others, they influence your actions, and that’s how they affect the outcomes.
First of all, embrace your moods. You’re not a machine. You have emotions, and they work the way they do. If you try to fight them, to force yourself into “happiness” or cheat your body with coffee and cigarettes, you’ll just make it worse.
Instead, take it down a notch and reflect. Listen. What is it you’re unhappy about? What is your body trying to tell you? We often have a hard time interpreting our feelings just because we don’t listen to them. Don’t try to combat problems by doing more pickup, that never works out.
We think that “to keep going” means to carry on as we were, ignoring the signals our body is sending. Well, that’s wrong. Think about specific moments where you feel low. Is it at work? Was it the house party on Saturday where you blew all those conversations? Is it when you spend another evening alone watching TV? Is it when you waste time on the internet and you know you could do something meaningful instead, but you just can’t bring yourself to to it?
Design what you do next
You will find that some of the things that ail you, you can’t (easily) change. Yet, you can always, under any circumstance, change your attitude towards them! This is done easiest when you have something else in your life that
a) you have full control of
b) is going well.
You need to create something that’s uniquely yours. That “they” can’t take from you. So design what you do next. Consider: what do you love? Are you into music? Acting? Singing? Dancing? Web design? Photography? Painting? Drawing?
Hey, there’s a lot. If you look just a bit below the surface, you will easily find activities to help you channel your emotions – your soul. I’ll call them “creative outlets”.
So you have some loose ends now – listen to your emotions, change your attitude towards circumstances, find creative outlets. How does it all fit together?
Well, these steps entail each other and work together to pull you out of your rut. Of course, you have to identify first what’s going on inside you. Then, you should to find where you can make a change – some things you can amend like that (stop watching TV all the time), others are circumstances you have to deal with (or make huge changes in your life to get rid of, e.g. quit, move away).
This is where you want to design your own outlet. So you start drawing or writing. Soon enough, you have truly captivating stories or sketches! They make you happy because your soul can manifest in them, and others love them because they feel the emotion inside. Now, this is what allows you to change your attitude towards circumstances: you just don’t care about them as much anymore, because you’ve learned how to keep going despite circumstances. There is good stuff happening in your life, and it’s because you sparked it. Now how easy is it to get that job, pass that test, and seduce that woman?