How To Tell If A Girl Is Into You… Or Leading You On

I’m going to let you in on a little secret about women: they will make the first move without ACTUALLY making the first move.  In fact, if a girl is into you, her behavior will be composed of a series of well-calculated and strategic moves aimed at getting you to be the one to pursue her.  If all goes according to plan, you will be hitting on her, asking her out and, most importantly, you will think it was your idea all along. Men tend to be more direct and intentional with their actions.  If guys are into you, they will usually find a way to tell you.

If things go according to plan, you’ll be hitting on her!

Women can be slightly more cryptic in their behaviors and may be difficult to read if you don’t know exactly what to look for.  I’m here to crack the code for you, making things a little bit easier.  To tell if a girl digs you, keep your eyes out for these behaviors, they are just a part of her master plan. If you catch a girl doing these things, chances are she is trying to lure you into making a move.

Monitor her nonverbal cues.

One of the easiest ways to tell if a girl is interested is by taking note of what she is doing, not always what she is saying.  Most often, our body language and demeanor says a lot more than our mouths.  These seemingly minor body movements can be laden with important information.  Take note of what she is doing and keep in mind that there might be more there than you realize. Look for one of these common cues to tell exactly how likely it is that you’re going to be able to seal the deal.

Licking her lips – she’s directing your attention to her mouth.  She’s probably into you.

Flicking her hair – she’s trying to get you to notice her.  She’s interested.

Standing close to you – she’s trying to be near you in hopes of an accidental touch or arm graze.  She likes you.

Eye contact – A lot can be done with the eyes.  If she’s engaging in eye play, she’s inviting you to come say hello.

Next time you are at a party or a bar and one of these things happens, consider it a green light.  This is a woman’s way of inviting you to make a move.  We are encouraging and suggesting without just coming out and saying it. If you know what to look for, you will get better and better at reading body language.  The strength of your game will skyrocket.


You have a lot of the same interests.

If you are talking to a girl and she is asking questions and expressing genuine interest in what you’re saying, she’s into you.  Here’s a confession from a member of the female species: we are not above pretending to be into things that we are not.  If you find that the girl you are talking to is a fan of all the same sports teams (or, sports in general), also loves Lord of the Rings and reveals that a juicy ribeye steak is also her favorite meal, she probably digs you.

I’m not going to suggest that women are lying, but rather, embellishing the truth.  If a woman is into a guy, she wants to appear compatible.  She wants him to see that they share interests, hobbies, and tastes.  This is all demonstrated in hopes of getting him to ask her out.

how to tell if a girl is into you step 3
Her friends are involved as well

Her friends are Involved.

The thing about women is that we don’t do anything alone. We can’t even go to the bathroom or pick out an outfit without the assistance of our most trusted friends.  Is it realistic to think that we would be fishing for a man without the help of our entourage?

The answer is no.

So, keep your eyes open for the famous “friend assist.”  If a girl’s friends are chatting you up and continue to bring her up in the conversation, she’s totally interested in you.  Sending in the friend is a multifaceted move that serves several purposes of the upmost importance.  The first is to give her friends a chance to interact with you and determine whether or not you pass the test.  If they determine that you are good enough for their bestie, then their next move is to tell you how great she is without seeming too obvious.

For example, if a friend makes a comment like “Isn’t Jess hot? She’s so hot.” Jess is into you.  Beware: Do not, under any circumstance, misinterpret this move as the friend hitting on you and proceed to flirt with her.  If you do this, you have just failed the ultimate test and are no longer going to be considered “worthy” by any member of this group of girls.

If you run into here everywhere, she likes you!
If you run into here everywhere, she likes you!

She is everywhere.

Women do not want to seem too forward but, that does not mean we don’t want to pick you up, in our way and on our own terms. We may not come straight out and ask you to hang but, we will most certainly do a little undercover work and some harmless Facebook stalking to figure out the places that you frequent.  If you begin to run into her at the gym or your favorite coffee shop, it’s not a coincidence.

If you get texts out of the blue that serve no real purpose and could be interpreted as just an excuse to text you, she likes you.  Women are not always willing to put themselves out there for fear of feeling too vulnerable or getting shot down.  If you know what to look for, you can pick up on our subtle, less obvious ways of expressing interest.

She laughs at all your jokes

Everything that you say or do is interesting, funny or charming.

If a girl is into you then she, likely, thinks you are pretty awesome and wants you to know it.  This is sometimes demonstrated by having excessive reactions to the things that you do and say. If her responses to your jokes make you feel funnier than Dane Cook and her attendance of your rec league basketball game has you feeling like LeBron James, she’s totally into you. Take note in how a woman acts and responds. If she is going out of her way to show support and express interest in you then she is, in fact, interested in you.

She’s hot and cold.

The ultimate goal for a woman is to seem attainable but not easy.  Trying to attract the attention of a man is a balancing act of maintaining the perfect combination of these two qualities.  If a girl seems totally into you one day and then uninterested the next day, do not be discouraged; she is probably just playing hard to get. Women know that men like a bit of a challenge.

The seemingly uninterested act is merely an attempt at making you want us that much more. So, the next time a girl pretends not to notice you after texting you nonstop the week before, call her bluff and charm on.

Women are complicated; that is not a secret. As a woman, I confuse even myself. However, with the right tools in hand, you can get a little bit closer to understanding women and how they express interest in men. I’ve exposed some of the secret techniques and masterful methods of a woman’s “game.” With this new truth, you will be able to decipher and interpret female behaviors and determine whether or not she’s actually into you.