Boy, there was a period in my life when I was terribly inhibited around strangers and even friends. I would worry about how everybody perceived me, how I looked, acted and especially what I said. Even at parties or in clubs, bars or gatherings, outings and events, I obsessed about behaving “correctly”. When others let loose and went crazy, danced, sang and jumped around, I would freeze up. Guess how good I was with women? I sucked.
So when I started learning about seduction and “game”, one of my biggest challenges was to break down my psychological barriers. Let me share how I did it: this is how you can overcome your inhibitions and rid yourself of your approach anxiety so you can live a better life.
How did it use to be?
See, in my childhood and youth, I would easily let down my guard among friends and go crazy. We did whatever silly stuff we came up with: sing, play pranks, make funny faces and voices. Mostly, we made our humour physical: high-fiving, silly movements or gestures. And we made noises: at the movies, when the 20th Century Fox jingle came on, we would mimic its sound and “sing along”, we would all baa like sheep as we walked down the streets, or change our voices so we sounded like Kermit the Frog.
Just like me, you didn’t always have these barriers blocking you from your goofiness. How do I know? My friend, you were a kid once, too. Social conditioning, however, entered your brain and taught you to be reasonable, respectable, presentable, acceptable – a vegetable! Now, sit down and think of the crazy things you used to do way back when. Remember them with all your senses. Relive them.
Did you think rationally in those days?
Goodbye brain, hello gut
So guess what, I want you to pack your bags and move out of your brain. Say hello to gut avenue! This is where you will live from now on.
If you observe your body, you will find that your emotional responses originate in your gut, not your brain (okay, biologically they do, but your gut is where you perceive them). When you laugh deeply and heartily, what happens in your body? Love, fear, pleasure, anger, excitement, arousal – all these emotions, and more, live in there! I want you to become very aware of that. Here’s how.
Get into your body
Focus on your breathing – consciously breathe in and out – and let it take you into your body. Follow the air as it as it permeates you. Imagine where it goes, and what kinds of emotions come from these places. Your mind will come in with its rational chatter, but turn your attention back to your body as soon as you become aware of it (it’s sneaky, it tiptoes in and takes you away). Do this exercise multiple times every day. Observe how it affects your experience of life.
Now, we humans communicate a lot on an emotional level, but most of us are not aware of that – we have been taken over by the thinking mind so much that we have a hard time realizing what else is happening, let alone taking control of it.
To break down your inhibitions, I want you to start acting with your body more, and cut down on words. No more abstract thinking, more concrete action.
Communicate and entertain with your body
I’d like to introduce you to two exercises you can do as you go about your everyday life:
What to say? No, what to do!
How often do you find yourself wondering what to say in a particular situation? Next time you’re in a similar situation, listen to what your gut says, and act – not speak – accordingly. Trust me, words will come. Man invented language as a code to communicate their states and emotions to each other, remember? That’s what you’ll automatically do when you listen to your gut first.
As few words as possible
The next exercise will help you to realize that words aren’t even “necessary” to communicate. I’d like you to cut down on your word ratio as much as possible as you interact with people. Instead, address them with looks, gestures, facial expressions, moves, postures. Don’t be afraid to make them funny – subtly at first, more open as you get more confident.
As above, work on these two consciously and constantly. You’ll be amazed at the things you come up with.
These are some of the most important steps to overcome your strongest inhibitions. The most important thing is to move from your brain into your gut, and follow whatever happens in there. Let the situation carry you away, and you’ll slowly reconnect with your own human essence – the part in you that pulsates with life. We have exhausted the scope of this article, but keep checking this space – there’s more to say, and we’ll be back with “Physical humor” soon!