If you’ve spent any time in the dating world, you know you can’t just ask a girl if she’s interested in you. (I sincerely hope you’re not going around passing out “Do you like me” notes to every girl who catches your eye.)
Fortunately, there are some surefire signs that a girl is interested in you; you just need to know where to look.
Why You Can’t Just Ask
So why can’t you just ask? Well, she might not know yet; it’s possible that all she knows is that she’s not not interested in you. (Hey, nobody said this was easy.) Fishing for confirmation by asking questions of whether or not a girl likes you comes off as unattractive and demonstrates a lack of confidence… remember you are trying to impress her.
“asking if she’s interested in you isn’t being direct — it’s seeking validation”
The direct approach might seem like a good idea, but asking if she’s interested in you isn’t being direct — it’s seeking validation. You’re telling her that you’re not confident that she does like you…which means she’ll start looking for a reason not to. And just like that, you’ve conjured a massive roadblock out of thin air like a lovelorn Harry Houdini.
If you’re having a conversation with someone to whom you’re not attracted, you don’t think about how the conversation is going or how they feel about you. You probably don’t consider whether or not they like you; you just assume they do. Why shouldn’t they? The same thing applies to girls — if you assume they like you, they probably will.
So what are the 7 telltale signs that show she’s into you? Well, let’s take a look at the list.
Looking At You (And Then Looking Away)
You’re out somewhere and you catch a girl looking at you, but as soon as you look in her direction, she looks away. Sure, it could be a coincidence, but more than likely she’s doing it on purpose.
If she’s looking at you long enough for you to return the look and catch eyes with her, she’s interested. And if you’re already interacting with her, a good way to gauge her interest during the conversation is to see if she maintains solid eye contact. If her eyes start scanning the room, she might be uncomfortable, but if they’re locked in on you, she’s definitely into you.
If you’re not sure if that glance was coincidental or intentional, try this trick. Give it about 30 seconds or so, then fake a big yawn. Wait about 3 or 4 seconds, then look over at her again; if she’s yawning, it means she was looking at you again while you did it — yawns are contagious. [R]
And voilà, it’s confirmed: she was looking at you because she’s into you and finds you cute.
Laughing At Your Jokes…Even The Bad Ones
There’s good news and bad news. The bad news is, you may not be not as funny as you think. If you need to get a glass of water or take a long walk to contemplate the meaning of life, I understand.
The good news is, she likes you! If a girl goes out of her way to laugh at your (probably terrible) jokes, it’s a sure sign that she’s into you. Laughing is her way of demonstrating her interest in you, and it has the added benefit of putting you both more at ease. [R]
So if your terrible puns or corny dad jokes are getting her to laugh like the ghost of Richard Pryor just floated through the window, it’s a very encouraging sign indeed.
There’s Physical Contact
Picture a blobfish, or Google it if you aren’t sure what a blobfish is. Would you ever want to gently caress a blobfish? No, right? (I hope the answer is “no,” or we’ve got much bigger problems.)
They’re disgusting. As a general rule, we don’t touch things that we find repulsive — including other human beings.
If a girl’s going out of her way to make physical contact with you, she’s signaling her interest and, in most cases, implicitly expressing a desire for you to reciprocate that physical contact. Of course, it should be noted that the touching needs to be non-incidental, like lightly touching your arm. If a girl brushes past you on her way to the bathroom, don’t take that as a sign that she’s into you and follow her in there. It will not end well.
Easy, soldier. Need another glass of water?
When I say “touching herself,” I mean “preening.” This could be playing with or adjusting her hair or smoothing out her dress; if the action indicates that she’s trying to make herself look better for you, she’s sending you a clear subconscious signal that she’s interested. [R]
Always Being Present
If a girl is into you, she’ll want to spend as much time around you as possible — especially if she doesn’t think you realize yet that she’s attracted to you. (Of course, it’s also possible that she’s secretly a serial killer and you’re her next quarry, so, you know, just keep that in mind.)
The thinking here is that the more you become aware of her when she is around, the more you’ll be reminded of her when she’s not. Eventually, you’ll find yourself thinking of her totally unprompted. And it totally works; in fact, in psychology circles, it’s known as the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. [R]
Did you know blushing is one of the signs of attraction, and that it’s the body’s way of mimicking the effect of an orgasm as a signal to a potential mate? [R] Well, you do now. If she’s blushing, there’s a high likelihood she’s attracted to you. Unless, of course, you’ve just done something incredibly embarrassing; in that case, she’s probably blushing for all the wrong reasons.
An interesting statistic – on average, men and women blink at a rate of roughly 6-10 times per minute. Studies have shown that blinking more than average can be a sign of attraction. [R]
Of course, this one can be trickier to figure out. Some people might blink less frequently, so their increased blinking might still be within the normal range. And other people might blink more frequently, so what you think is increased or frequent blinking is really just their normal behavior. If possible, try and observe her while she’s talking to a platonic friend; that can help give you a baseline of how often she normally blinks.
Open Body Language
Finally, if you really want to know if a girl is into you, just take a look at her body. (Okay, now look away before you make it weird.) Are her head, torso and feet all facing you? If so, then she’s definitely interested. [R] If one or two of the three aren’t facing you, she’s not fully engaged; if all three aren’t facing you, you’re talking to her back. You can stop now.
To be sure, reading body language does take some practice, but if you can master it, you can know for sure whether or not that girl is into you.
Making The Final Move
The last step is making a move.
Do not be shy, show confidence in that it is clear to you she is interested. And show her that you too are interested. Being timid and fidgety at this crucial moment will make for an awkward situation. If you do not go for the kill, then do not expect her to finish off what you tried to start.
If you blew your chances with one girl, then there will be other dates and opportunities. You just need to fine tune your senses and lookout for these surefire signs:
- Looking at you (And then looking away)
- Genuinely smiles and laughs at your jokes
- Goes out her way to touch you
- Preens to make herself look more enticing for you
- Blushes (perhaps during moments of flirting)
- Blinks more than average
- Positions her body to face you
Remember, practice makes perfect and being successful in your approach has nothing to do with random luck. However, establishing she likes you and making a move is only the first step.
If you want to take it to the next level and have her completely addicted to you, then the guys over at Attract Women demonstrate how by applying ‘bad boy’ tricks. Check out how to knock over that pedestal women so often put themselves on by clicking here.
Resources & References
Still not sure if that girl likes you? Take a look at our sources.
- Knowing whether she doesn’t like you is probably more important as knowing if she does. Carlos Xuma explains why and what signs to look out for if she just isn’t into you and what steps to take from there
- 5 signs that a girl DOESN’T like you and what to do from there by WinWithWomen
- Why yawning is so contagious? – Psychology Today by Christopher Bergland
- What are the signs of an unspoken attraction between two people? – Our Everyday Life by Elise Wile
- A man’s take by Teachingmensfashion on 5 signs that she likes you!
- 12 unmistakable signs of female attraction – New Love Times by Alisha Khan
- What’s the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon? – How Stuff Works (Science) by Kate Kershner
- The body language of attraction and love by Mindvalley Academy Blog
- A woman’s perspective by Ashley Weston on 6 signs a woman gives when she likes you (+ 1 wrong one)
- Eye Reading (Body Language) by Psychologist World
- Body language examples: What is her body saying? by Art of Charm