Silently nod if you’re with me here. You know those conversations where men and women complain to each other how terribly hard it is to get great partners into their life? Women wish they would find somebody that sweeps them off their feet.
They’re frustrated – and so are men, because they’re constantly turned down or something that starts great fizzles into oblivion before it goes anywhere. Women have their means of being attractive, and you, as a man, are here because you want to learn your own skills. And while you do so, there is one thing you realize: it’s a long road from stranger to lover. Today, I’d like to talk to you about keeping your motivation up through the bad times. As you become a desirable man, you will crash and burn, and it will be painful, but you need to hang in there – no matter what.
Is it worth the pain?
I’m not here to discourage you, on the contrary. Unless you are naturally successful with women, nothing is more important for you than to learn how to be attractive and desirable. Yes, it’s a skill, and yes, mastering it will be beneficial to both you and the women you meet. However, do not kid yourself into believing that this is an easy one to acquire.
Learn your skill step by step
As you practice, you take things in steps: at first, you may not even know how to approach a woman, you need to get over your anxiety. From there, you want to learn how to start an actual conversation, then how to keep her interested, fascinate her, get her to want to see you again (if you want to see her again). Once you have that down, don’t even dare think that the deal is done. Now you need to learn not to actually get that date, always keeping out of the “friends” zone, then progress from there…
Take every step… step by step.
When you are in any particular interaction with a woman, you’re “taking steps” on two levels: on the grand scheme of things, you’re moving a bit closer to your ultimate goal of being truly successful with women, as described above. At the same time, though, the interaction itself is composed of small steps. You approach, create comfort, rapport, tension… The most important thing is: focus on the step you’re taking right now, not any desired outcome in the future. That way, you’ll never “lose”.
Theory vs. Practice
It’s easy: both are necessary. You can read all books ever written on Martial Arts, but you’re still going to suck at it – but practicing without getting the theory into your head is going to leave you beaten up, right? It’s the same with attracting women. Go and read our articles, watch videos, listen to web seminars and interviews, check out David DeAngelo’s material, absorb what the Seduction Community has to give. Familiarize yourself with other material to get “life skills” – Emotional Intelligence, The Law of Attraction, Psychology.
But eventually, you need to go out and jump into interactions with people. Nobody is going to do it for you, and the sooner you do it, the better! Ideally, take advice from an article or book and go out just to practice that particular bit.
With all this in mind, never forget: it’s a long road from stranger to lover. You have bridges to cross, obstacles to overcome, defeat to cope with. It’s not easy, and rejection and failure can bear hard – that’s when it’s most important to keep your motivation up and hang in there. Never give up!