A friend of mine told me this story: she was taking dancing classes, and a really friendly guy had been giving her lots of attention for a couple of sessions. He was the classic “nice” guy: always agreeing, apologizing and trying to please her. He was bumbling and wore oversized clothes. One day, a friend took her aside and said: “Hey, why are you not going for that guy? Look at him, he’s all into you.”
She answered: “Yes – but come on, he’s not a man! ” Darwinian, huh? Now, when guys ask me “What do girls look for in a guy”, I always remember this story, and one of my first answers is: balls.
Females love males
Remember this: girls, feminine by nature, are attracted to masculinity. The more of that they sense in a man, the harder they’ll find it to resist. Isn’t it the same for you with very feminine women?
Well, my friend certainly didn’t find the dancing teddy bear attractive. Cuddly and nice, yes, but panty-wetting hot? Nope. Why? A couple of things she told me:
– He had no opinion of his own
– He had no sex appeal
– He couldn’t make her laugh
– He was too “nice”
Ouch. The last one especially hurts, because once you’re in that category, your sex life is done. Grow some balls to resurrect it.
Get your life together
The typical “nice guy” rarely has his life figured out or under full control. If you find yourself guilty of anything listed above, I want you to take action now. Get your pencil out and make a list of goals and deadlines. An example:
– Do 10 push-ups per day – check daily
– Talk to 5 girls per day – by Friday
– Tease one girl a day – check daily
– Make conscious decisions and follow through – review achievements on Sunday
Now go and do it. The mere fact that you’re taking control of your life that way, and tracking your progress, will make you more attractive. You’ll have a sense of purpose, and girls will notice.
Be less “nice”
Look, this doesn’t mean “become an abusive jerk”. But look at the men in Frank Miller’s “Sin City”. The are pure males – full of testosterone, badass, tough, mean. But they have their values straight. They will do anything to protect the women in the story and defend their honor, because they believe in justice. That’s part of being an alpha male.
Of course, a woman wants you to treat her nicely. But she also wants you to stand up for what you believe is right, towards others as much as towards her. She wants a guy who won’t let people walk all over him, who won’t freely throw his services at anyone for a bit of affection.
Again, grow a pair of balls. Be fair towards others, but be fair towards yourself first. Learn to assert yourself, and say “no” once in a while.
Make her laugh
The cuddly teddy bear was never really funny. He sure tried: he giggled insecurely at his clumsiness, and he abidingly laughed when my friend made a funny or challenging comment. She once stepped on his foot, apologized and he came back with an incredibly witty remark:
“Ha-ha! Don’t worry. No pain, no gain, right? Ha-ha!”
And then he laughed a bit more at his own witty repartée. WRONG, TEDDY BEAR. It would have helped him to realize he’s worth a damn. If your attitude is more challenging and arrogant in a playful way, you’ll come up with something like:
“Hey, no problem. I have a great chiropractor, so by all means, dropkick me next and jump around on my spine when I’m down.”
Roll your eyes and say “jeez”, then give her a boyish grin, and you’re well on your way. And lastly, if you have female friends, there’s no shame in asking women what do girls look for in a guy. You lose your attractiveness that way, because it shows you haven’t figured it out, but while you improve yourself, you can get some great pointers.